


The limbo between busy moments of work

by cian1675



Category: Block B
Genre: Canon Compliant, Drabble, Gen, creative block, frustration with creating things, identity crisis of sorts, lacking inspiration, mine but also jiho's, zico vs jiho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2016-11-01
Packaged: 2018-08-28 10:37:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8442565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cian1675/pseuds/cian1675
Summary: There’s Zico, and then there’s Jiho.They’re the same person, but they’re not. He doesn’t know which, or who, he is sometimes.





	

He’s lost.

There’s an urge to write, put words down to paper, but when he sits at the table, notebook in hand, nothing comes out. He puts the nib of the pen down against the lined sheets away, hoping something will come. Nothing does.

It wasn’t always like this.

 

*

 

There’s Zico, and then there’s Jiho.

They’re the same person, but they’re not. He doesn’t know which, or who, he is sometimes. He’s both and neither at the same time; It’s like Schrodinger’s cat except he’s human and the only one who’s ever going to open the box is himself. He’s not sure he has the strength to open it and observe who he really is.

So he doesn’t.

 

*

 

Zico’s the one outside, in shiny new clothes, confident, famous, respected. Jiho’s the one at home, wearing nothing but boxers in the heat of summer, scribbling lines after lines of rejected lyrics, chair rolling in piles of scrunched paper, opened ramyeon packets and empty bottles of water. Zico’s the one without rest, showing his face appearance after appearance in every and anything, music shows, variety shows, commercials, the underground rap scene. Jiho’s just the small boy who wanted to make it big and can’t believe that Zico’s made it.

He’s one, he’s the other. He’s neither, he’s both.

He’s Zico and he’s Jiho, but right now he doesn’t feel like either. He’s too large for his body but too small. He needs to write, but he can’t. He wants to perform but there’s nothing to show. The feeling overwhelms him. He slumps where he is. Doesn’t matter if it’s in his car driving home from the music studio where he failed to write something good again, or if he’s at home, trying to find ramyeon only to realize he ate the last packet ages ago. It’s always the same these days.

It’s suffocating.

He’s suffocating.

 

*

**Author's Note:**

> This was a drabble I wrote when I was personally frustrated with a lack of inspiration. Originally, I wasn't going to publish because it's kind of pointless (it's literally titled "pointless jiho or zico drabble" in my com). But then I read this interview Zico did:  
> Part 1 - ["Creative work is troubling, happiness, and stress"](http://stillcian1675.tumblr.com/post/152594219437/article-joy-news-12th-anniversary-zico)  
> Part 2 - ["When I take off Zico and become Woo Jiho, I feel empty"](http://stillcian1675.tumblr.com/post/152594845191/article-joy-news-12th-anniversary-zico)
> 
> So I thought I should share this. I was going to try to extend the story to add in the part where if you just persevere through the creative block, ideas would eventually come to you again, but when I tried to write more lines, they didn't go with the flow it originally had, so I didn't. Still, I hope this is a reminder that creative blocks aren't forever, and also as a creator/writer, that's also not your only identity. Sorry my author's notes are turning out to be (possibly) longer than the fic.


End file.
